The traits of a cycle breaker are as varied as the number of human beings on this Earth.
What is a cycle breaker?
I define it as someone who sees a problem in the world and vows to fix it. Whether that problem is with society like racism, sexism, fatphobia, or homophobia or it’s internal like mental health issues that have been passed down in our families.
Whatever the injustice, the cycle breaker vows, “no more.”
It can feel overwhelming or even like the things we’re doing aren’t moving the needle but each small step takes us on a journey that we won’t truly see until the very end. Cycle breakers are committed to the small steps, even when it feels impossible.
Whether it’s accepting ourselves as we are, tending to our mental health, or nourishing our bodies mindfully, we are cycle breakers one way or another and we all carry these 4 traits.
1 We own our shortcomings.
Cycle breakers know that we all have room for improvement. We know when we mess up that we are still good people. We believe in being truthful about where we made mistakes, owning up to them, and repairing anything that may have been broken during the process.
2 We reflect on our actions.
Cycle breakers care about the why as much as the what. We look inward when something happens that we don’t like and are curious about where the behavior came from. If the dishes are piled in the sink and we can’t seem to ever get them done we want to know why. Instead of perpetuating shame by saying, “I’m lazy,” we pause and wonder, “What is making this seemingly simple task so hard?”.
3 We extend ourselves grace.
Cycle breakers refuse to use the ineffective tools of shame and punishment on themselves. They know these create animosity and negative feelings about themselves and understand better ways to create change. We understand that we are fully human and therefore fully imperfect. Instead of being angry when we fall short, we extend ourselves deep compassion while acknowledging that things must change.
4 We stay the course.
Cycle breakers know that change takes time and good things take effort. We know it’s important to remember that the problems we’re facing weren’t created in one day and they certainly won’t take one day to resolve. We take the smallest steps every day to change the course for the future. We pick up the litter we pass on the street, even if we know there will be more eventually. We keep going. We approach ourselves with kindness even if we went back to our old ways because we know it’s like a muscle. The more kindness and patience we mindfully practice, the easier and easier it will be.
The path of the Cycle Breaker isn’t an easy one. In fact, it’s much easier to stick with the status quo. We know, though, that the trade off for sticking with the “way things always were” is too great to bear. We know that it’s important not just for us but for those whose lives we go on to impact. Whether we raise children, care for our community, or just go about our day to day we know that the changes inside of us will ripple into the future.
Maybe, if we’re lucky, we’ll get to see some of the cycles we’re working on breaking end in our lifetime.
