From Mainstream Media to major religions, the focus on finding “the one” or “true love” is obvious. Fairy tales reinforce the importance of finding one’s prince and even queer love stories largely center the quest for romantic partnership.
Platonic love often takes a backseat once someone finds their mate. Friends are pushed aside in favor of date nights and wedding planning.
“That’s just how it is.”
Two things happen when we elevate our partners to the starring role in our lives. One, we fail to place appropriate importance on the relationships that may have come before our partners. Two, we place all the pressure of supporting us emotionally on our partners. One person is expected to carry every single bit of responsibility for tending to us emotionally and that is an unfair expectation.
Maybe you haven’t realized you’ve placed that pressure on your partner but have felt an undercurrent of resentment or frustration?
Why dating your friends?
At their core, dates are meetings with the intention of deepening ones connection with the other attendee(s). No matter what form they take, the goal is typically to leave the date with a better understanding or having made memories with the other person. When faced with limited resources to make dates happen with friends so we tend to prioritize dates with our significant others.
If your partner is a branch of your support system, consider your friends the roots.
Developing and deepening platonic connections with your friends offers you (and them!) a larger network of support to face days ahead.
Platonic love and its importance to our wellbeing cannot be overstated. The love and support of family, friends, and partners all work together to create a network that helps us find tiny moments of joy even in the hardest of times.
Ideas for dating your friends
Getting together with your friends doesn’t need to be expensive. Here are a list of ideas for dates you can ask friends on with or without spending money!
Cheap/Free Dates
- Potluck dinners
- Home cafes
- Board game nights
- Movie nights
- Park meetups
- Window shopping
- Folding laundry
- Grocery shopping
Inexpensive Dates
- Coffee shop meetup
- Appetizers
- Happy Hour
- Indie Concerts
- Karaoke night
- Board game cafes
- Thrift store challenge
- Fast food date
Joy is resistance
There is a quote that surfaced during the AIDS epidemic in the US. “Bury your friends in the morning, protest in the afternoon, and dance all night.” As we face a new era in our country it’s time for us to keep looking to history. How did revolutionaries before us get through? How did they hold on to the dream of a better future?
They chose joy.
Resistance has always required both discipline and joy to join hands. In order to sustain us moving forward, we cannot be serious at all times.
