Question: If your best friend came to you and said, “I’m not sexy/skinny/stylish/outgoing/confident/etc. enough to do _______,” how would you respond?
Chances are you would disagree with her. You’d probably comfort her, tell her she’s absolutely gorgeous and deserving and a warrior goddess who can overcome anything.
If we can talk to our friends this way (and mean it!), why is it so hard for us to speak to ourselves with the same level of compassion?
Kansas City Body Acceptance Boudoir
Body acceptance is incredibly challenging for many of us, especially women. We’re constantly bombarded with unreasonable standards and often from an early age. So reframing our thinking and learning to speak to and lovingly see our bodies takes time and practice.
But it’s totally doable, and it’s absolutely worth it.
Because when you can respect and accept your body as it is, all of the changes and stages it will go through won’t ever shake your core confidence. And that’s worth talking about: how to accept your body for what it is.
What is Body Acceptance? (and what it’s NOT)
Body acceptance may be a new term to you. Maybe you have heard of terms like body positivity or body neutrality. The three of these terms can be confusing at first or seem like the same thing. They all focus on changing your mindset about your body instead of actually changing your body. But body acceptance allows for more grace in your self love journey. Let me tell you how.
Body positivity seems ideal because it promotes loving all of your body- and your body is without a doubt worthy of that love. It was actually started to help end discrimination against those in marginalized bodies. “The body positivity movement was started in the 1960s and was created by and for those in marginalized bodies, including larger bodies, Black, queer, and disabled bodies. Body positivity was created in order to advocate for people who experience discrimination based on how they look,” says the Emily Program in their article.
Body positivity was a great start and absolutely necessary. It helped raise awareness of our fat-phobic and diet obsessed culture- and how that affected marginalized folx’ mental and physical health. And in a society where fat phobia is ever present- body positivity was adopted by many on their self love journey.
Sounds great, right?
The only issue with the body positivity movement is that it doesn’t allow space for bad body image days. It also assumes that you have to love every single part of your body, and that’s just not very realistic.
Everyone struggles with bad body image days. Do you remember the last time you stood in your closet in front of all of your clothes, with nothing to wear? I know you haven’t forgotten the mental attack on your body that followed.
And what about your autoimmune disorder? Your infertility? Your cancer? How are you supposed to love that? How are you supposed to love a body that doesn’t seem to love itself?
I don’t know how to answer that. It’s a question that I personally struggled with when I first heard of and tried to adapt a body positivity mindset. And what made me feel like ultimate body positivity wasn’t achievable.
Body acceptance, on the other hand, focuses on the idea that your body is worthy of your acceptance. Right now. Today. Just as it is.
Body acceptance is the mindset that you don’t have to love every part of you- but you can figure out how to accept your body as it is. Body positivity and body love may seem unattainable but with body acceptance, you are allowed bad body image days. You are allowed to be frustrated and have set backs. You are allowed to have insecurities.
Body acceptance is about reframing your mindset to one of, “While my body may not be perfect, I can work on accepting it for what it is.” This allows room for growth and change in your body. It allows for weight gain and loss. For new scars, stretch marks, and wrinkles. For appreciation of all that your body does for you.
You can have insecurities and imperfections all while knowing that your body is worthy of your respect and care. Some days may be more challenging than others, but body acceptance is about reflecting on the thoughts and feelings you currently have about your body and figuring out how to be at peace with your body without the need to change it.
Why WMNKND has a Body Acceptance approach
One thing is certain: your body will continue to change throughout your life. Your worth, however, will not.
Let me tell you about a client we recently had in the studio. She was struggling with her self image after major weight loss. She thought that the weight loss would make her more comfortable and happy with her body- but it didn’t. In fact, she told me the morning of her self love boudoir experience that she actually felt more comfortable and confident with the extra weight.
To be honest, I wasn’t surprised. I’ve heard it a lot in the studio- women changing their bodies in hopes of being able to love it if it were different. But I have news if you’ve thought this too: Changing your body won’t make you love it. There will always be something you don’t love.
And that’s where the mindset of body acceptance comes in. Instead of constantly wishing it were different, wishing it would change, or thinking “I’ll like my body when…,” what if you could learn to appreciate and accept your body as it is today?
What if you could escape the never-ending cycle of looking back and wishing you’d appreciated the body you had then? The one message that I would love to instill in each of our clients is this: Your body is worthy of your acceptance, especially on the days when you least feel like it.
Why? Because it is the only one you’re ever going to get and all it’s ever done is try to keep you alive. We can all respect that. Life is too short to spend uncomfortable in your own body. We all deserve more than that.
Body acceptance boudoir is about so much more than mainstream sexy photos. We’ve created an experience designed to help you reconnect with your body and appreciate it for what it is. Instead of photoshopping perceived imperfections and posing you to hide certain parts of your body (which only reaffirms a negative body image), WMNKND’s approach to boudoir is to show you what you look like from a new perspective.
Our experience goes beyond the typical boudoir photo session and begins from the moment you decide to reach out. Our pre session resources help you make the most of your experience by preparing you to embrace and celebrate who you are. A lot of our clients boast about how therapeutic their body acceptance boudoir photo session- one even stating that it “felt like 10 therapy sessions in one day!”
That’s because with a body acceptance approach to boudoir, you get a lot more value than a few moments of feeling sexy (I’m getting goosebumps even typing this). You get to reframe your mindset. Reset your body image. Learn how to accept your body and see yourself the way you deserve: from a perspective of self acceptance and appreciation.
That is why our clients rave about their results. They’re able to look back at their confidence boost receipts (aka prints and products), and empower themselves all over again. They not only have the evidence of how worthy their body was and is right in front of them, they have new coping skills for any bad body image days they may face in the future.
Here are 5 things you can do to work on accepting your body as it is TODAY
- Change Your Focus
Instead of nitpicking at every part of yourself you don’t like, shift your focus to what you do like.
Make a list of those things, speak them out loud. Eventually, you will train your eyes to notice the things about yourself that you like first. And you’ll take away the focus and power of the attributes you don’t like as much.
Once you’ve done that for a few days, take it one step further by showing gratitude for all parts of yourself {even the bits you’re not entirely thrilled about!}.
Thank your body for what it does for you. Start at your toes and move all the way up to your head! Thank each part for how it helps you, and ultimately, for keeping you alive and well.
- Mirror Work
Try this. Every day for at least one week, look at yourself naked in the mirror.
Most of us don’t get used to seeing (or being comfortable with) our body parts because we aren’t used to looking at ourselves. Sure, we glance in the mirror or catch ourselves in the reflection of a shop window, but we never really look at ourselves.
The goal is to see your body as a whole and not as individual parts or characteristics. This may feel strange or silly at first. And you may feel super vulnerable. But continue to stand there for a few minutes and speak kind body acceptance affirmations as you look at yourself naked.
Because dialogue matters! Think about all the things you say to yourself throughout the day. These thoughts create your feelings, and how you feel leads to how you act.
If you’re always speaking negatively about yourself or putting yourself down, you’re not going to feel good. How can you live your best life if you always feel like garbage?
Let’s transform that Debbie Downer dialogue into a self-love, body acceptance affirmations that you can recite as you stand in front of the mirror.
Here are some examples of body acceptance affirmations:
- My body deserves love and respect.
- I define my worth, and I am worthy.
- I honor my body at this moment. It’s perfect the way that it is.
- I love and cherish my body.
Whatever feels authentic to you. Say it. And believe it.
- (un)Dress to Impress Yourself
Get used to seeing your body more by not trying to cover it up.
Wear a bikini while you clean the house. If possible, walk around the house naked—or lounge around in lingerie.
And when it comes to clothing, only own pieces that make you feel good (and not just on non-bloat days). Clean out your closet and get rid of anything that doesn’t fit (too small or too big). Don’t buy things that you hope to fit into someday. When you do that, you’re only telling yourself that your body isn’t good enough right now, just as it is. And that’s just not true!
You don’t have to wait until you’re a different size to dress the way you want. Do it now! Because now is all you have.
- Mindfully (un)Follow Social Media Accounts
It’s time to de-clutter your social media and build feeds that empower you.
Unfollow anyone you constantly compare yourself to or who makes you feel bad about yourself. Unfollow unrealistic body types and people with heavily edited photos. Unfollow when you hear yourself saying, “I’ll never be as successful/sexy/smart/creative/whatever as that person.”
Regularly exposing yourself to these images will hurt your confidence and body image. So why put your precious time, thoughts, and energy into consuming them?
Instead, follow accounts that show body diversity.
Follow people you admire but don’t feel the need to compare yourself to.
You have the power to take control of what you see and how often you see it. Use that ability to make healthy, empowering choices.
- Book an Empowering Boudoir Shoot with WMNKND
At WMNKND Boudoir, you get to see yourself in a body acceptance, judgment-free environment.
We don’t discriminate. We won’t ever pose you differently based on your body type. That means you’ll get to see yourself celebrated as beautiful, sexy, and worthy – no matter if your body type is typically celebrated in mainstream society. And afterward, you’ll have photos that always remind you of these truths.
A body acceptance boudoir session helps you realize that your body was never the issue: it can be the ill-fitting clothes, the unrealistic expectations, the media, trends, etc. I specifically tell my clients that if they’re having a morning where nothing fits right or they feel bloated, to look at their boudoir photos and acknowledge that their body is NOT (and never was) the problem.
True body acceptance is accepting what your body is, as it is, today. And it’s respect for your body because of what it DOES- not how it looks. It’s knowing that you will have bad body image days, but that has nothing to do with your worth.
Your body is an instrument, not an ornament, and you don’t always have to love every little thing about it to respect it and what it does for you.
So, what do you say? Ready to start accepting and respecting your body?
Start your body acceptance journey today with the support of other women in our VIP group.Then, level up that practice by booking your body acceptance boudoir photo session.
